written on 17 December 2023 at Tekodeko Semarang
On the very last day of being 25, I decided to spend it with things I love. This includes taking some time and energy to write every lesson I got throughout my 25.
As I entered 25 last year, nothing special came up on that day. It was just an ordinary Sunday eating delicious food at my favorite Japanese resto and drinking a glass of coffee while watching movies on my laptop.
For most people, being 25 means you will enter the chapter of the “quarter-life of crisis”. This is the time when your life starts getting its peak and you struggle over everything, either financial, relationships, career or even your life’s path. From what I know, it’s hard (almost) for everyone because at that time you still figuring out your life, and yet there are so many responsibilities you have to endure. At some point, you also have to face these unnecessary pressures from your peers which get you stressed. But still, you have to get through your day while trying to be a sane person.
For me, I don’t know if I was really into that chapter since everything that I did throughout this age was saving, saving, and saving. I am pretty lucky that I still have a job that allows me to work at home. That way, I can save money as planned to buy things I need.
But, of course, there were some days I was pretty depressed over some things, and my plans didn’t work out the way I wanted to. Despite that, I could still have happy days even from just drinking a cup of coffee and writing poetry at a cafe.
And so, what is the biggest lesson I got at being 25? Honestly, I never thought about it until recently. I think being 25 has taught me a lesson to be okay with everything.
What does that mean? I think for everyone when you reach 25, you are expected to achieve anything. A successful career with a big salary, getting a scholarship for a master’s degree in a well-known university, traveling to beautiful countries; the list goes on. These expectations can be more tormented if you scroll through social media like Instagram and see many of your friends getting successful. At the same time, you feel like you are still stuck at the same place and there’s nothing great miraculously going to happen.
I would lie if I said that I never felt that way. Even before being 25, I often find myself comparing my achievements to my friends and being depressed about that. But as time passed by, especially after reaching the end of this age, I kind of got this enlightenment that it’s okay if I haven’t achieved anything in my life.
It‘s okay to not have my dream career yet.
It’s okay to not be able to travel to my dream countries yet.
It’s okay to not be able to get a master’s degree yet.
It’s okay to not achieve my financial stability yet.
It’s okay to not be productive every single day.
It’s okay to not have everything figured out
It’s okay to just live, live, and live.
As I got this lesson and tried to absorb it deeply, I found that the pressure that has always filled me lifted little by little. It’s not entirely lifted but at least I feel like I can live my life more peacefully. Rather than being anxious about not reaching my goals yet, I realize that I can still find happiness in the ordinary life. Of course, I am still on my way to achieving that, but I try to balance it with doing things I like.
For most of my 25, I think my motto has been like this:
Less Expectation, More Happiness
It is great to have such an extravagant life like you see on social media or in other’s people lives. But, let’s be real, most of us may have a mediocre life and that’s fine. Not anything we want will be achieved and that’s okay.
I have learned that life is not limited only to pursuing my dreams. I am not saying that you shouldn’t have a dream or not pursue it. I still believe it’s pretty important to have it to get yourself more “on fire”. But, in the end, not all of your dreams will come true, no matter how hard you try.
There are many factors you can’t control that (maybe) make it impossible to achieve and that’s okay. I know many of us kind of race against time since there is this “social age” to achieve certain goals.
But, remember that life has so many things to offer. That life has so many beautiful things awaiting us to enjoy. That life has so much happiness we can get even from small ordinary stuff.
If anything is meant to happen, it will happen. Anything will happen at the right time since the universe has its way which may surprise you.
If you haven’t got the things you want, for me there are three options: you will get them someday, never get them at all, or you will get a better return. Embrace your journey.
Some of us are getting afraid of getting older and even hope to be back to the pureness of childhood. But, for me, now I can say pretty confidently that I choose to embrace the uncertainty of the future, regardless of how old I am.
There are so many things unknown in the future that it will be great to experience it, either small or big. There are so many books which I haven’t read yet. There are so many cafes I haven’t visited yet.
There is so much poetry I haven’t written yet. There are so many people I haven’t met yet. There are so many thoughts I haven’t known yet. The list goes on and on.
As I will reach 26 in a few hours, I hope this feeling will stay with me until the end of time.
